It was really a question of motives, but it seemed more than that. Some friends of mine were not sure about what my motives were in a particular area. The situation probably dragged on further than it should have without communication between us. The important questions were left to assumption, and assumption, unfortunately, rarely ever visits long without doubt.
In the course of our conversations I was given the “benefit of the doubt” over three different things. When I found that out I didn’t feel like I had really benefited much. It was the slight chance that my motive might be right that kept me from being pronounced wrong. In a court proceeding you can only pronounce someone guilty without a shadow of a doubt, otherwise they are declared innocent or a mistrial is declared and the case must be heard again. I’m glad there was a glimmer of hope there, however faint, and we’re working everything out, but I wonder how many times we do the same thing to God.
We don’t see God or understand His motive sometimes, but we give Him the “benefit of the doubt.”
“I hope God has my best intentions in mind. I don’t like what I’m going through right now, but I doubt He would do anything to harm me, even though it seems like He hates me.”
We don’t focus on His goodness or His past record or promises, because we can only see through our own tainted perceptions. I’m suspect to failure and selfishness or I have been hurt by people or circumstances so I project them on Him and instead of receiving the “benefit of faith,” I shortchange myself by handing out the “benefit of doubt.”
It seems to me that the “benefit of the doubt” is a concept that works only in the vacuum created by a lack of relationship. The jurors are impartial because they lack a relationship with the defendant. Relationship nullifies the power of distance and therefore disqualifies the juror. If I give God the “benefit of the doubt” I have to do it at a distance, minus relationship. This leads me to a deeper understanding of the significance of faith in my life. Faith is not the absence of knowledge or sight. Faith is the “confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.” (dictionary.com)
When I give God the “benefit of the doubt” I change Him from capital “G” God to lower case “g” god, in my life because I declare Him unworthy of trust, therefore unacceptable as God. It doesn’t change Him, He’s immutable (or unchangeable) but it changes how capable I am of receiving from Him. Doubt is only dispelled by faith which only comes through communication. That’s why Paul wrote to the church in Rome and explained that faith only comes by “hearing the word of God.”
Communication, not blind acceptance, is the basis for faith. I was in a hotel lobby several years ago when I overheard a teenage girl asking her grandmother questions about sin and God and the Bible. The grandmother was obviously not knowledgeable about the Bible and gave several pat answers until out of frustration she said, “Why can’t you just take it by faith.” Of course, she really meant “blind acceptance” not “faith.” The girl was willing to, even trying to, accept something by faith, but hadn’t been given anything substantial to believe in.
Blind acceptance leads to “situational faith.” I’ll believe as long as the situation is favorable, because the lack of relationship keeps me in the dark when it comes to motives. So I operate in doubt, not in faith, and though I never pronounce God as guilty, I never really see Him as innocent or righteous or trustworthy, either, because I don’t know Him well enough to see beyond the situation.
The “benefit of faith” is like walking with a lamp on a pole I’m carrying out in front of me, understanding the heart and motive enough to see beyond the current situation, good or bad, and being able to keep moving. The “benefit of the doubt” is more like a stationary lamp post that casts light on a fixed and very limited area. I feel safe only when I hug the lamp post and stay away from the dark edges. So, really, I am not liberated by the light as much as I am afraid of the dark. Remember, doubt always shows up with assumptions, but fear is the “benefit” of doubt, and the opposite of faith, and without faith, it is impossible to please God.
