Hey there. I am now blogging at my main website: http://armandoheredia.com.
Thanks for connecting.
Move Forward.
-Armando
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
June Tour...
I'll be traveling and speaking in this summer.
May 31 - Breakout - Youth Revival
Abundant Life
MAP
June 7-10 - Road Trip Youth Camp
Night Services Open To All
Oak Park Church
2613 Highway 138 E
Jonesboro, GA 30236
MAP
June 11-14 - Lifepoint
LifePoint Church
14224 Tiggy Duplessis Road
Gonzales, LA, 70737
MAP
We'll be heading to Phoenix, AZ from Baton Rouge and have June 15 - 21 open for speaking engagements. Please contact me for details.
May 31 - Breakout - Youth Revival
Abundant Life
229 Wenonah Ave.
Mantua, NJMAP
June 7-10 - Road Trip Youth Camp
Night Services Open To All
Oak Park Church
2613 Highway 138 E
Jonesboro, GA 30236
MAP
June 11-14 - Lifepoint
LifePoint Church
14224 Tiggy Duplessis Road
Gonzales, LA, 70737
MAP
We'll be heading to Phoenix, AZ from Baton Rouge and have June 15 - 21 open for speaking engagements. Please contact me for details.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Cardboard Astronaut 2.0
Click here to purchase Cardboard Astronaut 2.0.
The church is afraid of and at the same time attracted to people who think outside of the box. A Cardboard Astronaut is someone who isn’t willing to be discontented, unwilling to simply remain in negative neutral wishing that there was more to living for God than the stale, flat mentality that so many have accepted for the sake of conformity. They are willing to push the boundaries at great personal risk to deviate from the accepted norms. This book about moving forward and pushing the boundaries of traditional Christianity.
Cardboard Astronaut 2.0 is a blend of the original book as well as applicable chapters from my previous book Smudges. I have also included some new chapters on leadership and youth ministry. Thank you for purchasing this book and taking time to read it. Please feel free to send me your comments and to share the ideas in this book. Move Forward. -Armando
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Milk Carton Full of Frogs | Power is Different Than Authority
The thunder rolled, booming all around me. There was lightning in the big West Texas sky which was painted a dark indigo blue by the rain that was about to fall in torrents.
My face and hands were covered in mud and my clothes were dirty enough to just throw away. I had spent the entire afternoon in the mud holes catching frogs. It had been raining the days previous and out where the mesquite grew wild there were places that held water, little ditches and ravines of caliche rock where the water would stay until the sun evaporated it in the coming hot summer days.
Somewhere along the way I found a milk carton, the cardboard half gallon kind that you pull the edges of one side apart at the top to open. The frog I had in my hand was pretty big and I didn't really want to let it go so I stuffed it into the carton. Then, after scrambling around I found another and another, stuffing them into the carton with the other frogs. I spent a few hours catching and stuffing frogs. The wind had picked up as the storm blew in. All around the sky was getting darker.
As a little boy I couldn't have told you why I did what I did next, though I understand it now. I had found a long sharp metal rod at the edge of the fence bordering the little yard of my step-dad's mother's house where I was staying. I took the carton of frogs and threw it to the ground. I watched it as it kind of bumped around, the frogs trying to escape the confines of that little box I had placed them in. And then, with lightning and thunder and wind blowing all around I stabbed that rod through the carton. I hadn't planned it, this wasn't why I had spent all afternoon catching the frogs. But I stabbed it again and again, running the rod through, watching with a kind of grossed out feeling the box banging around as the frogs desperately tried to escape.
Blood covered the rod and oozed out of the holes of the carton. It was splattered on my hands and the ground all around the carton. The movements of the carton began to diminish as the frogs died in the box. Some of them were skewered by this terrible rod that I had attacked them with, others drowned in the blood that filled the box. It was a horrible, malicious and seemingly inexplicable act of violence. I have often thought back to that day and am horrified by the capacity for evil that I had resident in me as a child.
I wouldn't have believed you if you had told me I was going to be doing that to those frogs before it all came to pass, but there I was with that bloody rod and a bloody box full of frogs.
The beginning of trouble for the frogs didn't happen when I found that rod, nor even when I put them in the box, it started when I went looking for frogs and I had no capacity to receive them and no authority to keep them.
I had the power to go and get them, the power to catch them, but I didn't have anywhere prepared for them. I should have never caught them, or at the very least I should have let them go, but that was the problem, I didn't want to let them go, because I had caught them. I was powerful because I was the hunter and they were my quarry, if I let them go it would be weakness on my part, even though I had no place to keep them. So, I stuffed them in a box. They couldn't live in that box for too long and I knew that when I stuffed the first one in, but it didn't matter because I didn't want it to matter.
I had the power to catch them but no authority to keep them. I knew that I couldn't bring those frogs into the house, that my step-parents weren't going to let me into the car with a handful of "nasty" frogs. They're gross, dirty, give you warts, pee on you, make a lot of noise and require special foods and the right kind of environment, all of which either require tolerance, sacrifice, or money. No, I knew I had no authority to keep those frogs so I stuffed them in a little box to hide them from the people who made the rules.
The problem was that the frogs weren't content to stay in the box, they weren't made to be in there. They made a lot of noise and the box wouldn't stay still. In reality I had no authority to even put them in the box, but they were my frogs, because I caught them.
I was too weak to let them go so I killed them.
While I was killing the frogs the storm had come upon me, the lightning and thunder, wind and rain. It was a very dramatic moment and for some reason a fear came on me. I mean a horror. I stood there with that bloody rod and the box of dead frogs at my feet, the blood spreading on the top of the rain water and I became afraid. I was afraid of what God would do to me because of the frogs. I didn't know God but I knew some things about Him and in reality it would have really been poetic justice if I had experienced the retribution I felt like I deserved. A kid holding a bloody metal rod in a lightning storm.
Friend, I promise I will never do this again, with frogs or anything else and I won't stand by and watch someone else do it either.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Unity
I had a difference of opinion with someone.
No, really.
It really wasn’t about who was right at the time.
We, in our own eyes, were both right. That’s how it goes, you know, rightness depends on perception. Without wise council and objectivity, we all can spit out the harshest of rhetoric. It’s interesting, to say the least, to observe how we respond to one another in times of crisis, whether real or imagined, and how quickly we are willing to stake everything on a feeling.
One of us used the phrase, “If I be a man of God than such and such will happen.” I can’t remember if it happened or not, I don’t think I am going to try and recall it. That would be a bit risky.
Our attempt at reconciliation (we weren’t at war, but we weren’t at peace either) I think was a bit muted. The subject of “unity” was thrown on the table. Like a small bowl of day old salad, you know, with kind of that brown fringe on the lettuce and squishy tomatoes with thick chewy skin. We put it there as our “out,” as a good way to close the conversation and walk on with the Lord. How many times have we all bit our lip and/or acquiesced out of obligation to “unity” or smiled and approved by omission something we didn’t agree with?
Why bring it up? Well, if we are the body of Christ, as we claim, than we should be in unity, but what is that? If it is cliché now, it was probably a standard before.
The Psalmist said, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Psalm 133:1
Passive acceptance is not unity.
Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Philippians 2:2
It’s easy to stand next to a guy or girl that you don’t understand and smile nicely, until they step into your world, their concepts and philosophies being so different, startling you into a fight or flight mode. If we are to come into unity, we need to be in one mind, one accord, which will never happen through passive acceptance, it will require conciliation and reconciliation. What’s the difference?
Conciliation (noun)
Getting people to trust or agree. An action taken to reach agreement or restore trust, friendship, or goodwill that has been lost, especially as a deliberate process used in a dispute.
Reconciliation (noun)
Achievement of consistency or compatibility. The making of two or more apparently conflicting things consistent or compatible
Unity is an act of cooperation.
The cost of unity is conciliation, the cost of consistent unity is reconciliation. God has called us into the ministry of Reconciliation. When we make the smallest segment of our personal society at least two. It’s not about “I” it’s about us. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
So, there has to be a conciliation first, right? The conciliation happens when we come to a place where we trust each other. Until we are willing to have the dialogue that will bring understanding we cannot have unity. We will only have a shallow, surface peace, enough for a small bug to stand on, enough to reflect the sun on, but not enough for any one but Jesus Himself to walk on.
I say this because you can go to a lot of churches that have a move of the Spirit of God and only surface unity. God only needs the surface to move on, He can walk on the water’s surface without needing the substance under it. In those cases, God is moving on the surface in spite of the substance, to fulfill His word.
“ For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Matthew 18:20
It is certainly nothing to build on.
You can’t build unity in water top experiences. Water will take on the shape of whatever container it’s in but will only support things that are empty. There is a distinct difference between a visitation and a habitation of the Spirit of Christ. He visits the surface and lives in the substance.
Approval by omission is not unity.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. 2 Samuel 13:22
Absalom kept the peace, but never made peace. He spoke neither good nor bad to his brother. This is unity by omission. There is a high price to pay for this type of “unity.” Someone has to die for the sake of maintenance. What I mean is that if the peace and unity façade is to remain intact, the two parties must never intersect. When they do, the fight or flight mechanism must be engaged, and their will be blood.
Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.
2 Samuel 13:28
In a church setting the blood spilled is usually that of the children, the youth and the new convert or visitor. David’s (the father of Absalom and Amnon and the king of Israel) entire kingdom became unbalanced, unstable and was almost overthrown through this type of unity.
The problem was then perpetuated by David’s own use of unity by omission:
And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face. So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face. 1 Samuel 14:24, 28
Absalom never received reconciliation and ended up rising up in complete rebellion against his father and ultimately died, shot through the heart by one of the King’s men, out of necessity to “keep the peace.”
Unity is based on relationship.
Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. 1 Peter 3:8
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
If we are to be in unity, we don’t have to be in complete agreement. I saw an old movie about two men, a black man and a white man, who were convicts on a chain gang.
They were chained to each other on purpose, so they would never be able to escape. The thinking being that they would never be able to overcome their differences long enough to merit concern. In the end they escaped and were recaptured.
The physical bond on their ankles and wrists was broken and replaced by the bond of friendship. A bond so strong that one man gave up his chance at freedom to stay and care for the other one who was wounded.
What kind of bonds do we have? We can be in bondage to sin, to religiosity, to the law, and we know that’s a negative, but what about being in bonds to each other. “In the bond of peace” is how Paul wrote it. True peace cannot be established with out relationship, because peace is based on trusting motives. I may not be able to agree with your position but if I understand your motive, then I am willing to be vulnerable, and that, in it’s core, is the essence of peace. Vulnerability.
God was seeking reconciliation with Moses on the backside of the desert in Exodus so He could send Moses in as a deliverer of His people. God asked Moses to do a very strange thing in my opinion.
And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground. Exodus 3:4-5
Why? Why take off his shoes? Here’s the reason, in a nutshell, because God was drawing Moses into a deep relationship, a substance relationship, where Moses was going to have to be in unity with God. Not a unity by omission or a passive acceptance of the words of God, but a deep abiding relationship that would change the course of history. God asked Moses to make himself vulnerable, to trust His motive, to know Him in the bond of peace. No weapons, no fight or flight just pure one mind, one accord. It was “the making of two or more apparently conflicting things consistent or compatible.”
Excerpt from Smudges, As Much As I Can See So Far by Armando Heredia. Click here to purchase.
No, really.
It really wasn’t about who was right at the time.
We, in our own eyes, were both right. That’s how it goes, you know, rightness depends on perception. Without wise council and objectivity, we all can spit out the harshest of rhetoric. It’s interesting, to say the least, to observe how we respond to one another in times of crisis, whether real or imagined, and how quickly we are willing to stake everything on a feeling.
One of us used the phrase, “If I be a man of God than such and such will happen.” I can’t remember if it happened or not, I don’t think I am going to try and recall it. That would be a bit risky.
Our attempt at reconciliation (we weren’t at war, but we weren’t at peace either) I think was a bit muted. The subject of “unity” was thrown on the table. Like a small bowl of day old salad, you know, with kind of that brown fringe on the lettuce and squishy tomatoes with thick chewy skin. We put it there as our “out,” as a good way to close the conversation and walk on with the Lord. How many times have we all bit our lip and/or acquiesced out of obligation to “unity” or smiled and approved by omission something we didn’t agree with?
Why bring it up? Well, if we are the body of Christ, as we claim, than we should be in unity, but what is that? If it is cliché now, it was probably a standard before.
The Psalmist said, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Psalm 133:1
Passive acceptance is not unity.
Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Philippians 2:2
It’s easy to stand next to a guy or girl that you don’t understand and smile nicely, until they step into your world, their concepts and philosophies being so different, startling you into a fight or flight mode. If we are to come into unity, we need to be in one mind, one accord, which will never happen through passive acceptance, it will require conciliation and reconciliation. What’s the difference?
Conciliation (noun)
Getting people to trust or agree. An action taken to reach agreement or restore trust, friendship, or goodwill that has been lost, especially as a deliberate process used in a dispute.
Reconciliation (noun)
Achievement of consistency or compatibility. The making of two or more apparently conflicting things consistent or compatible
Unity is an act of cooperation.
The cost of unity is conciliation, the cost of consistent unity is reconciliation. God has called us into the ministry of Reconciliation. When we make the smallest segment of our personal society at least two. It’s not about “I” it’s about us. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
So, there has to be a conciliation first, right? The conciliation happens when we come to a place where we trust each other. Until we are willing to have the dialogue that will bring understanding we cannot have unity. We will only have a shallow, surface peace, enough for a small bug to stand on, enough to reflect the sun on, but not enough for any one but Jesus Himself to walk on.
I say this because you can go to a lot of churches that have a move of the Spirit of God and only surface unity. God only needs the surface to move on, He can walk on the water’s surface without needing the substance under it. In those cases, God is moving on the surface in spite of the substance, to fulfill His word.
“ For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Matthew 18:20
It is certainly nothing to build on.
You can’t build unity in water top experiences. Water will take on the shape of whatever container it’s in but will only support things that are empty. There is a distinct difference between a visitation and a habitation of the Spirit of Christ. He visits the surface and lives in the substance.
Approval by omission is not unity.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. 2 Samuel 13:22
Absalom kept the peace, but never made peace. He spoke neither good nor bad to his brother. This is unity by omission. There is a high price to pay for this type of “unity.” Someone has to die for the sake of maintenance. What I mean is that if the peace and unity façade is to remain intact, the two parties must never intersect. When they do, the fight or flight mechanism must be engaged, and their will be blood.
Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.
2 Samuel 13:28
In a church setting the blood spilled is usually that of the children, the youth and the new convert or visitor. David’s (the father of Absalom and Amnon and the king of Israel) entire kingdom became unbalanced, unstable and was almost overthrown through this type of unity.
The problem was then perpetuated by David’s own use of unity by omission:
And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face. So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face. 1 Samuel 14:24, 28
Absalom never received reconciliation and ended up rising up in complete rebellion against his father and ultimately died, shot through the heart by one of the King’s men, out of necessity to “keep the peace.”
Unity is based on relationship.
Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. 1 Peter 3:8
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
If we are to be in unity, we don’t have to be in complete agreement. I saw an old movie about two men, a black man and a white man, who were convicts on a chain gang.
They were chained to each other on purpose, so they would never be able to escape. The thinking being that they would never be able to overcome their differences long enough to merit concern. In the end they escaped and were recaptured.
The physical bond on their ankles and wrists was broken and replaced by the bond of friendship. A bond so strong that one man gave up his chance at freedom to stay and care for the other one who was wounded.
What kind of bonds do we have? We can be in bondage to sin, to religiosity, to the law, and we know that’s a negative, but what about being in bonds to each other. “In the bond of peace” is how Paul wrote it. True peace cannot be established with out relationship, because peace is based on trusting motives. I may not be able to agree with your position but if I understand your motive, then I am willing to be vulnerable, and that, in it’s core, is the essence of peace. Vulnerability.
God was seeking reconciliation with Moses on the backside of the desert in Exodus so He could send Moses in as a deliverer of His people. God asked Moses to do a very strange thing in my opinion.
And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground. Exodus 3:4-5
Why? Why take off his shoes? Here’s the reason, in a nutshell, because God was drawing Moses into a deep relationship, a substance relationship, where Moses was going to have to be in unity with God. Not a unity by omission or a passive acceptance of the words of God, but a deep abiding relationship that would change the course of history. God asked Moses to make himself vulnerable, to trust His motive, to know Him in the bond of peace. No weapons, no fight or flight just pure one mind, one accord. It was “the making of two or more apparently conflicting things consistent or compatible.”
Excerpt from Smudges, As Much As I Can See So Far by Armando Heredia. Click here to purchase.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Flip The Wake | Confessions from the Leader-Ship
I have a confession to make. I am in “leader-ship” and because of this I have spent my ministry until a few months ago trying to be in front of the people who I am called to “lead”. I have tried to be the face that is seen and the voice that is heard. When the flag drops, my boat is the first off the line, leaving the wake that “my” team is supposed to follow in. The wake follows the path that my boat, my leader-ship, goes in. Where I point, that’s where everybody follows. It’s a nice and tidy little procession as long as everybody stays in the boundaries of the wake I set for them.
The problem with this is that it’s a nice and tidy little procession. As much as I want to think I am great, as hard as I work, plan and develop myself my wake is only so wide. But this is the leader-ship model that I have inherited. I have followed in the wake of other leaders and while that can make the path seem easier it has narrowed much of my understanding about what ministry can and should be.
You’re the pastor, youth pastor, head honcho, big cheese or whatever, so that automatically pushes you to the front, right? Wrong. Where did we ever get the idea that we were supposed to be the leader? Where do you find that the task of being a minister is the same as being the “man”? Jesus never said you and I were going to be the “man” if we were called into ministry, he said we would be the servants of all. When you put Greatest in front of Servant it changes the concept considerably.
Over the last few months I have become increasingly aware of my smallness. If this whole thing hinges on one person, it’s a pretty small door.
And what in the world will I do with the whole “I must decrease so He can increase” idea that that revolutionary prophet, John, said?
Here are a few thoughts that have been making me rethink the whole concept about leader-ship.
Make Sure You Have On A Life Jacket
The alpha male concept becomes very apparent when you are focused on keeping the lead and owning the wake. This translates into aggression between leaders, not just hostility, aggression. I have seen some incredible maneuvers by good men who were focused on owning the wake. If you are called into ministry and you are working your way to the front of the line, make sure you’re wearing a life jacket. “Man Overboard!” gets drowned out by the noise of the power motor too often. How many great men and women have been destroyed and/or thrown off the boat for the sake of one man/woman keeping his/her hands on the steering wheel?
The problem with leader-ship is that it doesn’t transfer well. As long as there is one boat at the front there will also only be one steering wheel. This is a problem as stated above because of aggressiveness, but also because the transfer is usually an after thought. The intentional development of others is typically absent in the wake of the alpha leader. Take a look at most of the leadership classes and concepts that you have developed or favor, in their essence they are about developing people within the wake, not about releasing them into the Kingdom of God or unleashing their potential.
Being close to the “leader-ship” is dangerous because the most turbulent waters are always behind the wake-maker. The larger the group, the larger the wake, the more powerful the leader has to become to keep everyone moving in the right direction. The bigger the wake the rougher the water directly behind the leader-ship must be. This is where the whole elitist mentality takes on the most definition. It’s also why so many people who seem to have such potential are destroyed. They get caught in the current at the narrow behind the leader.
Wake boarding is impressive and early on you may have a maverick doing flips inside of your wake. You can wave at the people watching as you go passed, brag about him/her to your friends, but the creativity and potential of this person tied to you becomes a liability as the crowd pushes into the narrow.
A neat and tidy procession will scorn the wake boarder. He is too unpredictable. Not to mention that he sometimes works above the wake, not outside of it, but above it, in plain sight of everyone. In fact, his best work is done in the wrong place. He doesn’t work in the narrow, he trails along at the wider places, working back and forth, flying in the face of the people who despise his freedom and would cut his rope without a moment’s hesitation. To them he is showy and irreverent, and he’s having way too much fun.
The other thing that is bothersome it that he is not trying to move up like he’s supposed to and the leader-ship seems to give him special license to trump the model, to work above the wake, to have the freedom without the price of the narrow all of the other potential leaders have to pay.
His freedom is false and his time is usually short because he is breaking the law of the narrow. As much as the leader-ship needs him and his energy there is no long term avenue for him. He will have to go for the sake of the wake. He’s too dangerous.
Vision casting is about the vision, not the individual. Leader-ship demands that the vision be cast into the wake. When that happens there is no growth because the course sets the cast.
True vision casting goes ahead and out, never back. So, if we cast the vision back, into the wake, does it really matter? Yes, but only if the vision is about the leader-ship. What if the vision cast set the course? What if the vision was bigger than the leader-ship?
And if we cast the vision forward and out who will work in it? If the vision is bigger than the wake and spreads outside of the reach of the leader-ship it will float away from “the people” unless the leader-ship goes around in circles trying to catch it. I’ve seen countless leader-ships racing in circles, leaping their own wake, trying to catch the pieces of a vision that were too big for this model.
When a leader-ship casts too large a vision and circles to cross its own wake it becomes a danger to itself. A lot of people will be lost by what seems like a lack of direction, when, in fact, the zig zag and the circle are unavoidable. The people may not intentionally leave the group, usually they flounder until they drown because the direction of the wake is indiscernible. Others will leave out of frustration, how can they get to the narrow if they can’t figure out which direction the narrow went?
Flip The Wake
I have had the distinct impression over the last few months that I am not called to lead. I am called to facilitate the potential of the people who God has placed in my life. My wake is too small to contain that because the potential of these people is much greater than mine. So, here’s how this is translating in my life. I have to flip the wake. I can never do what God has called me to do if I insist on being in front. In fact, my position has shifted completely. When the flag drops there are a whole lot of people that move before I do. If you are looking for me, I’ll be somewhere in the middle, “backing up” the potential.
My wake becomes a significant part of the process of development because I cease to be as dangerous when I don’t have to have the power to stay in front. My wake is easy, my turbulence is light (sounds kind of like what Jesus said, huh?)
Do I lead? Yes, but not from the front of “the people” but from the heart. People are not and should never feel like they have to compete to exist in the narrow place behind my leadership. I am “the people” and so I don’t feel compelled to push my way to the front. On the contrary, my wake is flipped and I follow in the path of the vision and the potential of those who God has blessed me to be a part of. Now we move in concert and in an unleashed potential.
When I cast the vision now, I don’t cast it backward, into my own wake, because it’s not about me. I cast it forward and out, where the potential is, and we don’t have to go around in circles to try to catch it, because it lands where the potential is already working and the ones in front can respond and continue to move forward.
Everybody can continue to look forward. The vision cast sets the course, not the other way around. This is the whole point of vision and unleashes the power of God’s creative Spirit to direct the church. The dictation has changed from my plan and my leader-ship, to His plan and purpose.
Wake boarders? Oh, yeah, they are necessary for the continued creativity and risk that is involved in changing the world. There have to be those that work above the wake in the widest areas. They are still tethered to the facilitator, the difference? They ride in the wake of potential, out front, where they can do the most good, where there is less traffic.
I’ve been a wake boarder most of my life, because of this I know that these people can do tremendous things for the kingdom, but they do it at great peril of completely running away from everything, so we’ll keep them tethered for a while, on a long rope, not just to keep them safe, but to keep pulling us further, out to where the water meets the sky.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group | Post 6 | Teens Are Sensual...
6. Teens Are Sensual. Of course, because we expect teens to be walking hormones, when you read the title you assumed (and I am assuming this) that I was going to talk about how all teens are sex crazed lunatics, but that, first of all that is not completely true and secondly that's not the point of this blog. What I mean by sensual is that they are driven, like everyone, by their senses. What they hear and see affect their emotions and how they feel is what they go by.
What I'd like for you to consider is this, people's lives are dictated by externals. As we grow in maturity, we begin to be able to balance those externals with wisdom, hopefully, and become more stable, mostly. We are still affected by externals and media producers have come to understand that in order to get our attention they have to use sensationalism. BANG, POW, BOOM!!! You get the idea. The news is filled with the biggest stories, the series on TV are flashy and the movies, musicians, tabloids and such are always over the top because they have to be in order to cram a (!) in our face so we'll turn our head. (!) is big, it's outrageuos and it demands your attention now!
Your teens aren't opposed to (!) in their lives, they are all about (!) because they are at the beginning of their foray into the world of independent sensory decision making. Before now their parents dictated where the (!) would be in their lives. They were told what was important, what was worth their time and how they should feel about things from their parent/guardians perspective. They didn't choose their movies, books, friends, etc. so if there was a (!) anywhere it was filtered through their parents' wisdom. This is true in most cases, but not in all and you may have some kids in your group whose parents are morons (yep, I said it) and let their kids fill their little mental pockets with whatever (!) they could get a hold of since they were five. That's the kid you need to keep closest to you for his/her sake and the sake of the other kids in your group.
That's why teen magazines and movies are sensational! You'll see (!) in their lives when it comes to relationships!, emotions!, problems!, fears!, ect!, etc!. They seem to thrive on (!) and gather around it like moths to a flame. This is normal and you should expect it.
You can be a very effective youth pastor if you understand that you are not going to be able to take the (!) out of your youth group and instead you become a (!Filter). Find out what's going on in their world and without being condescending give them insight from an external perspective, that being yours, to what they are watching or listening to and what they are being affected by.
One more thing, if your teens are all about (!) and your youth services or small groups don't have (!) in them, you will not reach into your kids' lives. They will be bored(!) and hate(!), not dislike, hate(!) coming to your class or meeting. Your messages, discussions and gatherings need to generate (!) in your youth. They need to address the things that are affecting your teens in their everyday (!) filled lives. So, start right now thinking of how you can be a !Filter and how you can generate (!) in your youth services, otherwise they'll see you as a (,) in their lives. A moment of pause between two ideas, neither of them being you or your ministry.
What I'd like for you to consider is this, people's lives are dictated by externals. As we grow in maturity, we begin to be able to balance those externals with wisdom, hopefully, and become more stable, mostly. We are still affected by externals and media producers have come to understand that in order to get our attention they have to use sensationalism. BANG, POW, BOOM!!! You get the idea. The news is filled with the biggest stories, the series on TV are flashy and the movies, musicians, tabloids and such are always over the top because they have to be in order to cram a (!) in our face so we'll turn our head. (!) is big, it's outrageuos and it demands your attention now!
Your teens aren't opposed to (!) in their lives, they are all about (!) because they are at the beginning of their foray into the world of independent sensory decision making. Before now their parents dictated where the (!) would be in their lives. They were told what was important, what was worth their time and how they should feel about things from their parent/guardians perspective. They didn't choose their movies, books, friends, etc. so if there was a (!) anywhere it was filtered through their parents' wisdom. This is true in most cases, but not in all and you may have some kids in your group whose parents are morons (yep, I said it) and let their kids fill their little mental pockets with whatever (!) they could get a hold of since they were five. That's the kid you need to keep closest to you for his/her sake and the sake of the other kids in your group.
That's why teen magazines and movies are sensational! You'll see (!) in their lives when it comes to relationships!, emotions!, problems!, fears!, ect!, etc!. They seem to thrive on (!) and gather around it like moths to a flame. This is normal and you should expect it.
You can be a very effective youth pastor if you understand that you are not going to be able to take the (!) out of your youth group and instead you become a (!Filter). Find out what's going on in their world and without being condescending give them insight from an external perspective, that being yours, to what they are watching or listening to and what they are being affected by.
One more thing, if your teens are all about (!) and your youth services or small groups don't have (!) in them, you will not reach into your kids' lives. They will be bored(!) and hate(!), not dislike, hate(!) coming to your class or meeting. Your messages, discussions and gatherings need to generate (!) in your youth. They need to address the things that are affecting your teens in their everyday (!) filled lives. So, start right now thinking of how you can be a !Filter and how you can generate (!) in your youth services, otherwise they'll see you as a (,) in their lives. A moment of pause between two ideas, neither of them being you or your ministry.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group | Post 5 | If All Of Your Friends Think It's Cool...
5. If All Of Your Friends Think It's Cool... If you've got a "great" idea, a revolutionary idea even, that you are going to spring on your youth group and you call up all of your youth pastor friends and they think it's "cool" and slap you on the back and hold their thumbs up, you might need to be worried.
Do you have one or two, maybe even a small group of young people who are your advisers? Could I use the word "mentor" here and you not be offended? I have now, and for several years since I passed out of the "cool" stage, had a few teens and post high school students who are my C.A.B. (I just made that up) Cool Advisory Board. My job isn't to be cool, it's to know what cool is.
"I'm not cool and I'm OK with that." Yeah, my friends all laugh at me and finish my sentence when I start saying it, and if you visit Granite City you'll see some "cool" stuff happening and every bit of it has been filtered through a young person because that is who it's for.
We are trying to reach into a different generation, like missionaries. The first thing a missionary should do when they put their feet on the ground on the mission field is find someone that can translate the culture, not just the language. You need to do the same. You have young people around you (or you should) who understand their culture and the mission of the youth ministry. They are Ambassadors and are as important, if not more so, than the youth pastor because they are who truly interfaces with the youth culture.
You are reaching into their culture, they are in the culture. So before you move forward with this amazingly cool idea, ask a few of your mentors what they think. Chances are they might think it's cool, too. But maybe not.
Do you have one or two, maybe even a small group of young people who are your advisers? Could I use the word "mentor" here and you not be offended? I have now, and for several years since I passed out of the "cool" stage, had a few teens and post high school students who are my C.A.B. (I just made that up) Cool Advisory Board. My job isn't to be cool, it's to know what cool is.
"I'm not cool and I'm OK with that." Yeah, my friends all laugh at me and finish my sentence when I start saying it, and if you visit Granite City you'll see some "cool" stuff happening and every bit of it has been filtered through a young person because that is who it's for.
We are trying to reach into a different generation, like missionaries. The first thing a missionary should do when they put their feet on the ground on the mission field is find someone that can translate the culture, not just the language. You need to do the same. You have young people around you (or you should) who understand their culture and the mission of the youth ministry. They are Ambassadors and are as important, if not more so, than the youth pastor because they are who truly interfaces with the youth culture.
You are reaching into their culture, they are in the culture. So before you move forward with this amazingly cool idea, ask a few of your mentors what they think. Chances are they might think it's cool, too. But maybe not.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group | Post 4 | Be Intentional
4. Be Intentional. Most of the things I'll be posting in this series will seem like no-brainers. It's these simple things, however, that can make the difference between a good youth ministry and an effective youth ministry.
Can a youth ministry be good and not be effective? The answer is yes. It depends on the goal of the ministry. If your goal is to create a venue where teens can congregate, have good music and hear preaching you can certainly do that, but that doesn't necessarily equate effectiveness. If it doesn't change the lives and/or direction the teens are going in outside of the venue, and there is no transformation, no development, no difference in the lives of the teens than the ministry in Biblical terms it is not effective. Is it good? Yes. Fellowship in a positive environment is good, but is good what we are looking for as a youth ministry?
Effective comes from intention. You will see specific results if you have a specific plan. Are you trying to create community in your group? What community enhancing events have you planned? Do you have a group of kids that need to be born again? What have you done to create a pathway for them to gain the understanding of this somewhat abstract concept and apply it to their lives? Do you have a group of church kids that are inward focused and not reaching out to their school, family or world? How have you decided to lead the outward.
Effectiveness doesn't just happen, it's planned for. We sat down in November of 2008 and had a planning session for the first quarter of 2009. Our objective was to share the message of salvation with our students, many of whom were not familiar with the Biblical message. We planned to preach and teach about repentance in January. We then went into February teaching about baptism in Jesus name, what it meant and how it applied.
When we started into February we let the teens know that on the last Wednesday of the month we would be having a baptismal service. Needless to say on that last Wednesday we baptized 12 people and had several more over the following weeks. Were we surprised? No, we planned it, we were specific and focused. In March we taught about the Holy Ghost and it's availability to us. Several students have received the Holy Ghost. This is what we planned, what we intended to happen and it did.
What needs to happen in your group? Find it, plan it, focus on your plan and see it happen.
Can a youth ministry be good and not be effective? The answer is yes. It depends on the goal of the ministry. If your goal is to create a venue where teens can congregate, have good music and hear preaching you can certainly do that, but that doesn't necessarily equate effectiveness. If it doesn't change the lives and/or direction the teens are going in outside of the venue, and there is no transformation, no development, no difference in the lives of the teens than the ministry in Biblical terms it is not effective. Is it good? Yes. Fellowship in a positive environment is good, but is good what we are looking for as a youth ministry?
Effective comes from intention. You will see specific results if you have a specific plan. Are you trying to create community in your group? What community enhancing events have you planned? Do you have a group of kids that need to be born again? What have you done to create a pathway for them to gain the understanding of this somewhat abstract concept and apply it to their lives? Do you have a group of church kids that are inward focused and not reaching out to their school, family or world? How have you decided to lead the outward.
Effectiveness doesn't just happen, it's planned for. We sat down in November of 2008 and had a planning session for the first quarter of 2009. Our objective was to share the message of salvation with our students, many of whom were not familiar with the Biblical message. We planned to preach and teach about repentance in January. We then went into February teaching about baptism in Jesus name, what it meant and how it applied.
When we started into February we let the teens know that on the last Wednesday of the month we would be having a baptismal service. Needless to say on that last Wednesday we baptized 12 people and had several more over the following weeks. Were we surprised? No, we planned it, we were specific and focused. In March we taught about the Holy Ghost and it's availability to us. Several students have received the Holy Ghost. This is what we planned, what we intended to happen and it did.
What needs to happen in your group? Find it, plan it, focus on your plan and see it happen.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group | Post 3 | "Young Person" Is Not A Noun
3. Expect Greatness not Perfection.
When people say the words "young people" they are really saying "youngpeople." One word, as a noun. Try it, out loud say young people the way you would normally say it. Why does this matter? Because when you say "youngpeople" instead of young people, you change the meaning of the words.
Youngpeople are a kind of quazi-human creature that are outside of the realm of normal expectations. On one hand we don't expect a whole lot from them. We're just glad they come to church and don't have drugs in their pocket. On the other hand we expect perfection from them. "The 'youngpeople' should be the supreme example of what a person should be as a Christian. Their friends and family and the entire world are watching them and may be turned away from God if these "youngpeople" don't do it exactly right." I am exxagerating (a little) but you get the point.
Let's look at the term the way we should, though. They are young, and they are people. I'm not trying to be sarcastic and yes, I know this is a simple concept, but it could change the way you relate to your "youngpeople."
They are young. This means they aren't going to have a lot of wisdom because they haven't lived long enough to develop it. It means they are going to trust freely (for a while) and trust the wrong people and the right people. They are going to be fiercely loyal to their ideas, their music, their friends and the other things that make up their identity. They are going to be reckless and impulsive. The reason they are is because they don't have a lot to lose. All of the investment has been from their parents. That's not wrong or abnormal, it's youth. Think maybe God designed them like that so they would be willing to go out and change the world? Do you remember when you thought you could do anything? They are going to be passionate. Your job isn't to shut this all down and make them like you, they are not miniature adults, they don't think like you because they don't have all of the risks you have. Your job is to help them harness all of this energy and power, yes power, and point them in the right direction so they can make a difference in their world.
They are people. They are going to do amazing things, normal things and incredibly stupid things. They are going to be subject to their emotions, peer pressure (you still are), ups and downs and everything else everybody goes through. Don't put them in the "youngpeople" category and limit them to that paradigm. They are people, created by God for a purpose with a capacity for greatness, but the propensity for failure. Expect greatness, but don't expect perfection.
When people say the words "young people" they are really saying "youngpeople." One word, as a noun. Try it, out loud say young people the way you would normally say it. Why does this matter? Because when you say "youngpeople" instead of young people, you change the meaning of the words.
Youngpeople are a kind of quazi-human creature that are outside of the realm of normal expectations. On one hand we don't expect a whole lot from them. We're just glad they come to church and don't have drugs in their pocket. On the other hand we expect perfection from them. "The 'youngpeople' should be the supreme example of what a person should be as a Christian. Their friends and family and the entire world are watching them and may be turned away from God if these "youngpeople" don't do it exactly right." I am exxagerating (a little) but you get the point.
Let's look at the term the way we should, though. They are young, and they are people. I'm not trying to be sarcastic and yes, I know this is a simple concept, but it could change the way you relate to your "youngpeople."
They are young. This means they aren't going to have a lot of wisdom because they haven't lived long enough to develop it. It means they are going to trust freely (for a while) and trust the wrong people and the right people. They are going to be fiercely loyal to their ideas, their music, their friends and the other things that make up their identity. They are going to be reckless and impulsive. The reason they are is because they don't have a lot to lose. All of the investment has been from their parents. That's not wrong or abnormal, it's youth. Think maybe God designed them like that so they would be willing to go out and change the world? Do you remember when you thought you could do anything? They are going to be passionate. Your job isn't to shut this all down and make them like you, they are not miniature adults, they don't think like you because they don't have all of the risks you have. Your job is to help them harness all of this energy and power, yes power, and point them in the right direction so they can make a difference in their world.
They are people. They are going to do amazing things, normal things and incredibly stupid things. They are going to be subject to their emotions, peer pressure (you still are), ups and downs and everything else everybody goes through. Don't put them in the "youngpeople" category and limit them to that paradigm. They are people, created by God for a purpose with a capacity for greatness, but the propensity for failure. Expect greatness, but don't expect perfection.
Monday, March 23, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group | Post 2 | Establish Identity
2. Establish an Identity.
One of the most important, if not the most important thing for a teen and/or young adult is identity. A foundational part of developing a solid and vibrant youth ministry is to create an identity for your youth group. This can be tricky because we have bought into the idea that youth ministry is basically about slick marketing and advertising savvy. If you hire somebody to design a good logo, or come up with a catchy name you have not developed identity. You have developed a brand.
Branding is good and it can be important, but it's not the same thing as identity. Kids don't wear a certain brand because of the name or the logo, they wear it because it means something, something they can and/or are willing to "identify" with. The brand and logo are secondary to this more important concept: What does your youth ministry "mean"?
Define the ministry not in terms of cool graphics, catchy slogans or nifty logos, but in terms of purpose, value, cultural significance, and community. Is what the name and brand embody big enough? If you boil it all down is their something significant about what your youth ministry is doing other than creating an audience for you to speak to or a large number of teens gathered for bragging rights by you or the congregation you're a part of?
What difference would it make in his/her life or world if a teen decided to buy into your concept? It's got to be about more than coming to your church. If Christianity is about going to church it's not about much.
One of the most important, if not the most important thing for a teen and/or young adult is identity. A foundational part of developing a solid and vibrant youth ministry is to create an identity for your youth group. This can be tricky because we have bought into the idea that youth ministry is basically about slick marketing and advertising savvy. If you hire somebody to design a good logo, or come up with a catchy name you have not developed identity. You have developed a brand.
Branding is good and it can be important, but it's not the same thing as identity. Kids don't wear a certain brand because of the name or the logo, they wear it because it means something, something they can and/or are willing to "identify" with. The brand and logo are secondary to this more important concept: What does your youth ministry "mean"?
Define the ministry not in terms of cool graphics, catchy slogans or nifty logos, but in terms of purpose, value, cultural significance, and community. Is what the name and brand embody big enough? If you boil it all down is their something significant about what your youth ministry is doing other than creating an audience for you to speak to or a large number of teens gathered for bragging rights by you or the congregation you're a part of?
What difference would it make in his/her life or world if a teen decided to buy into your concept? It's got to be about more than coming to your church. If Christianity is about going to church it's not about much.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
How To Lead A Youth Group
1. Decide to be a youth pastor. This sounds simplistic in black and white, but in reality it’s a big thing. This ministry has been used as a stepping stone until “real ministry” happens. It’s like a transitional time until the person can become a “real” pastor. If that is your goal, than you are not a youth pastor. Skip it and give the youth the privilege of having someone work in their lives because they have a passion for it, not as a rung in their ladder to success.
One of the reasons that youth ministries struggle so much with leadership and consistency is because so many youth pastors walk away from youth ministry in their early thirties taking years of experience with them. The misconception is that if you are going to be a youth pastor you have to be young but youth ministry is not restricted by age. I have met some fantastic youth pastors in their 40’s and 50’s and some young youth pastors that didn’t have a clue.
If you are just starting out in youth ministry find a couple of youth pastors that have been serving for years and connect with them. Your drive and willingness to take risks as a young person are an amazing asset to the youth ministry you are working with. The wisdom of veterans will be a great asset and balance to you. If you have been in youth ministry for a while you should take an inventory of those around you. Are there any people that you have mentored? Are you connected with the next generation of leaders? If not you should reevaluate your core ministry goal. Why are you doing this?
One of the reasons that youth ministries struggle so much with leadership and consistency is because so many youth pastors walk away from youth ministry in their early thirties taking years of experience with them. The misconception is that if you are going to be a youth pastor you have to be young but youth ministry is not restricted by age. I have met some fantastic youth pastors in their 40’s and 50’s and some young youth pastors that didn’t have a clue.
If you are just starting out in youth ministry find a couple of youth pastors that have been serving for years and connect with them. Your drive and willingness to take risks as a young person are an amazing asset to the youth ministry you are working with. The wisdom of veterans will be a great asset and balance to you. If you have been in youth ministry for a while you should take an inventory of those around you. Are there any people that you have mentored? Are you connected with the next generation of leaders? If not you should reevaluate your core ministry goal. Why are you doing this?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Youth Ministry Is Not God's Idea...
I have had the privilege of connecting with many pastors, youth pastors and youth workers over the last few years. This thing called youth ministry is such a fast paced, ever-evolving challenge.
I heard John Savage, the principle and director of a private school in Kentucky (Academy for Individual Excellence) speak on the topic of public school and youth ministry a couple of years ago. He said youth ministry is not God's idea. I whole heartedly agree with his premise, "youth ministry is a response to a deficiency in the church and the family."
John said he had multiple children (I think six) and made the point that when he said that we didn't automatically think that his wife gave birth to six children at once, which can happen but doesn't usually, but that she had six children over time. This is how a family works. You have an age variation in the kids so that the older children have the opportunity to inspire the younger ones and the younger children have someone and something to aspire to. We don't have families in litters where all of the children are the same age. It can work, but not as well, because it's not the natural order for humans.
What we've done is set aside God's model, the model that the family works in and instead adopted a litter mentality. We take kids in one age bracket and put them together, separating them completely from the other age brackets. There is a very limited avenue for these kids to be involved in ministry using this model because the natural multilevel inspiration is removed. Also, we create a situation where the kids are not aspiring or inspiring each other, they are competing with their peers, always working to establish a pecking order. In some ways the traditional model that youth ministry follows actually strengthens the deficiency instead of removing it.
There should definitely be a time where teens in a particular age bracket should come together to discuss life application concepts that are age/maturity appropriate, but this should not be the only avenue for youth ministry. You could do this in a small group setting or maybe as a Sunday School class, but there should be a time where the age barriers are removed and you bring them all together for youth ministry. This is the time for you to empower the older kids to lead worship and be the inspiration for the younger people following in their wake.
Keith is a youth worker I recently connected with and he brings a valid thought and question to the "youth ministry table" that really shows how this translates to the church as a whole: "The main thing that I believe our youth struggle with, is the fear of being judged by the older saints, and the lack of examples by parents. How do I go about freeing them from that?"
"The fear of being judged by the older saints"
The fear that they feel is valid and I believe the current youth ministry model perpetuates it. By completely segregating the youth from the rest of the church we create a generational divide that feels insurmountable. This is another example of the Church following popular culture. Youth culture has vilified our elders as a group of rigid, judgmental, and stupid people who should be shunned or tolerated only at a distance. We inadvertently strengthen that thought in our youth when we segment them into litters with no overlap with elders. The elders don't get a true picture of what is going on with the youth. All they here is the noise and most of their interaction with the youth is an awkward pass in the foyer. Yes, the elders could do a better job of reaching out to the young people in your church, but maybe they don't, not because they don't want to, but because they feel the wall of separation that WE built. "WE" being the leaders, not the young people.
Love is dammed by ignorance. I spelled that right, I am not trying slip a cussword into my blog. The youth do not feel love from their elders and do not give love to them because we created a retainer wall and called it youth ministry. Read God's idea in the scripture and you'll see elders always among the youth, a well of wisdom in a place of honor. They didn't always agree or understand the generation coming up, but they didn't have to, they gave love to people they knew by association and the younger generation honored and loved them in response.
"The lack of examples by parents"
We have a disproportionate idea of the role of the youth ministry. Youth ministry does not and never should try to displace parents. Parents are examples everyday to their kids. Think of it this way, church is twice a week, life is everyday. Everything we do as a youth ministry should be from the perspective that we are a help to the family and that the parent is the ultimate authority in the lives of the teens we are working with. It's the same misunderstanding that American popular culture has with freedom. Our nation took "Freedom of religion" and changed it to "Freedom from religion." Church culture changed youth ministry from a haven for parents to bring their teens into a place where teens have a haven from parents. This is wrong and divisive.
The parents of your teens should be an integral part of everything you do as a youth ministry. They have a vested interest in your success. If you are a youth pastor in a church you are not really the youth pastor, you are the assistant youth pastor. The real youth pastor is the parent, you are their helper.
Here's what you should consider doing: Invite the parents to be involved in the youth ministry. Let them know they are welcome to any youth service or event as honored guests. You should spend as much time as possible with them, getting to know them. You will gain their confidence and more importantly you will gain a better appreciation for the struggles they go through on an everyday basis being a parent, learning, usually on the fly, how to lead their child closer to Christ. What you do twice a week that you have hours to prepare for, they do everyday in real time.
"How do I go about freeing them from that?"
Pull the dam walls down. Yes, that is also spelled right, goodness, you'd think I was a sailor and cussed all of the time. You as the pastor or youth pastor have got to pull down the retainer walls. I'm not talking about homogenizing youth ministry so that it fits every age bracket in your church. Your seniors should know that if and when they come to a youth service it will be designed and geared for the youth. Lights, music, teaching, the whole package. If you try to make it work for everybody, it won't work well for anybody. They don't have to like it, but it would be good for them to understand your vision. That being the case, you probably won't get a huge group of seniors into your youth service, so you need to create other avenues where they do have an opportunity to develop meaningful relationships. (I have some ideas on that and we have done a few things, that will be another blog. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well.)
Change your position when it comes to how you think about the parents of the teens you are working with. They have an enormous job and you can be an asset to them only if you realize that they aren't supposed to be on your team, you are on theirs. When that shift happens, you'll realize that youth ministry theory is very hard to apply in everyday real life and that the young people should see you as the biggest fan that their parents have. Do they always do it right? Of course not, they're human and they are going to make mistakes. My guess though is that in the time it took us as youth pastors to process the thought of laying down our lives for these kids, these parents would have already stepped forward with their hands raised.
The freedom we are looking to give these kids may be pushing against the other side of the wall we created and called youth ministry. Now the question changes: What will you do differently?
I heard John Savage, the principle and director of a private school in Kentucky (Academy for Individual Excellence) speak on the topic of public school and youth ministry a couple of years ago. He said youth ministry is not God's idea. I whole heartedly agree with his premise, "youth ministry is a response to a deficiency in the church and the family."
John said he had multiple children (I think six) and made the point that when he said that we didn't automatically think that his wife gave birth to six children at once, which can happen but doesn't usually, but that she had six children over time. This is how a family works. You have an age variation in the kids so that the older children have the opportunity to inspire the younger ones and the younger children have someone and something to aspire to. We don't have families in litters where all of the children are the same age. It can work, but not as well, because it's not the natural order for humans.
What we've done is set aside God's model, the model that the family works in and instead adopted a litter mentality. We take kids in one age bracket and put them together, separating them completely from the other age brackets. There is a very limited avenue for these kids to be involved in ministry using this model because the natural multilevel inspiration is removed. Also, we create a situation where the kids are not aspiring or inspiring each other, they are competing with their peers, always working to establish a pecking order. In some ways the traditional model that youth ministry follows actually strengthens the deficiency instead of removing it.
There should definitely be a time where teens in a particular age bracket should come together to discuss life application concepts that are age/maturity appropriate, but this should not be the only avenue for youth ministry. You could do this in a small group setting or maybe as a Sunday School class, but there should be a time where the age barriers are removed and you bring them all together for youth ministry. This is the time for you to empower the older kids to lead worship and be the inspiration for the younger people following in their wake.
Keith is a youth worker I recently connected with and he brings a valid thought and question to the "youth ministry table" that really shows how this translates to the church as a whole: "The main thing that I believe our youth struggle with, is the fear of being judged by the older saints, and the lack of examples by parents. How do I go about freeing them from that?"
"The fear of being judged by the older saints"
The fear that they feel is valid and I believe the current youth ministry model perpetuates it. By completely segregating the youth from the rest of the church we create a generational divide that feels insurmountable. This is another example of the Church following popular culture. Youth culture has vilified our elders as a group of rigid, judgmental, and stupid people who should be shunned or tolerated only at a distance. We inadvertently strengthen that thought in our youth when we segment them into litters with no overlap with elders. The elders don't get a true picture of what is going on with the youth. All they here is the noise and most of their interaction with the youth is an awkward pass in the foyer. Yes, the elders could do a better job of reaching out to the young people in your church, but maybe they don't, not because they don't want to, but because they feel the wall of separation that WE built. "WE" being the leaders, not the young people.
Love is dammed by ignorance. I spelled that right, I am not trying slip a cussword into my blog. The youth do not feel love from their elders and do not give love to them because we created a retainer wall and called it youth ministry. Read God's idea in the scripture and you'll see elders always among the youth, a well of wisdom in a place of honor. They didn't always agree or understand the generation coming up, but they didn't have to, they gave love to people they knew by association and the younger generation honored and loved them in response.
"The lack of examples by parents"
We have a disproportionate idea of the role of the youth ministry. Youth ministry does not and never should try to displace parents. Parents are examples everyday to their kids. Think of it this way, church is twice a week, life is everyday. Everything we do as a youth ministry should be from the perspective that we are a help to the family and that the parent is the ultimate authority in the lives of the teens we are working with. It's the same misunderstanding that American popular culture has with freedom. Our nation took "Freedom of religion" and changed it to "Freedom from religion." Church culture changed youth ministry from a haven for parents to bring their teens into a place where teens have a haven from parents. This is wrong and divisive.
The parents of your teens should be an integral part of everything you do as a youth ministry. They have a vested interest in your success. If you are a youth pastor in a church you are not really the youth pastor, you are the assistant youth pastor. The real youth pastor is the parent, you are their helper.
Here's what you should consider doing: Invite the parents to be involved in the youth ministry. Let them know they are welcome to any youth service or event as honored guests. You should spend as much time as possible with them, getting to know them. You will gain their confidence and more importantly you will gain a better appreciation for the struggles they go through on an everyday basis being a parent, learning, usually on the fly, how to lead their child closer to Christ. What you do twice a week that you have hours to prepare for, they do everyday in real time.
"How do I go about freeing them from that?"
Pull the dam walls down. Yes, that is also spelled right, goodness, you'd think I was a sailor and cussed all of the time. You as the pastor or youth pastor have got to pull down the retainer walls. I'm not talking about homogenizing youth ministry so that it fits every age bracket in your church. Your seniors should know that if and when they come to a youth service it will be designed and geared for the youth. Lights, music, teaching, the whole package. If you try to make it work for everybody, it won't work well for anybody. They don't have to like it, but it would be good for them to understand your vision. That being the case, you probably won't get a huge group of seniors into your youth service, so you need to create other avenues where they do have an opportunity to develop meaningful relationships. (I have some ideas on that and we have done a few things, that will be another blog. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well.)
Change your position when it comes to how you think about the parents of the teens you are working with. They have an enormous job and you can be an asset to them only if you realize that they aren't supposed to be on your team, you are on theirs. When that shift happens, you'll realize that youth ministry theory is very hard to apply in everyday real life and that the young people should see you as the biggest fan that their parents have. Do they always do it right? Of course not, they're human and they are going to make mistakes. My guess though is that in the time it took us as youth pastors to process the thought of laying down our lives for these kids, these parents would have already stepped forward with their hands raised.
The freedom we are looking to give these kids may be pushing against the other side of the wall we created and called youth ministry. Now the question changes: What will you do differently?
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